Many of us go through life not knowing who we are as a person. We make up things to go along with others, copy their styles, act like other people, and generally remain untrue to ourselves because we ultimately don’t know who we are.
I spent many years denying who I was and what made me who I am today. I was angry with the past, generally didn’t know my strengths and weaknesses, didn’t know my values. This was when I was young and I was still trying to figure out who I wanted to be.
You don’t necessarily have to have a conversation with yourself to get to know who you are. Throw out others’ expectations and opinions of who you should be, and follow the steps below to get to know yourself a little better.
# 1 – What Are You Grateful For?
Finding out what you’re grateful for is a positive way to get to know yourself better. Often, when we are blind to ourselves, we are at least open to those things that we appreciate. So, take some time to list out what you are grateful for.
Personally, I’m grateful for my family, my best friend, my job, and my ability to express myself through writing.
# 2 – What’s Your Style?
This one may be a little bit more difficult to answer. To get to know who you are, though, it’s essential to ask this question. Too often, we’re busy keeping up with what society tells us is the best style to have, the best body to have, the best projects to have, the best job to have. If we separate ourselves from what society tells us to do and look like, what would that look like for you?
For myself, my style is a streak of minimalism, with a huge dose of silliness, sarcasm, and sometimes contention. I accept my body the way it is, though I’m looking to create better habits to take care of it in the future. I love to write, and now that I’m in a better place, I can do that by blogging and working on my novels.
# 3 – What Do You Enjoy?
To better get to know who you are, it’s necessary to find out what you enjoy. Not what other people enjoy. What you enjoy. Believe it or not, this can be a hard question to answer when you’re so used to going along with what other people want to do in life.
Personally, I enjoy taking walks in nature, writing, playing video games, and spending time with my family.
# 4 – Pet Peeves
Another thing to get to know yourself is listing out your pet peeves. What really just gets under your skin? Aside from what society likes to tell us, it’s okay to have things you dislike or things you disagree with.
My own include people who drive too fast in the rain, people who ignore me, and when I hear people call others or myself stupid. Those are things that really get under my skin and will turn me off immediately.
# 5 – Outline your Strengths and Weaknesses
This can especially be a hard one if you aren’t used to reflecting on what you are good at and what you could do to improve. Outlining your strengths and weaknesses allows you to communicate those with others who might be looking for your skills, and also allows you to know what you could do to improve other skills.
A couple of my own strengths are that I see things through if I give my word, and I am able to motivate others to reflect and help them recognize their own strengths and what they can do to better themselves. A couple of my weaknesses include – sometimes I jump the gun, and sometimes I’m oblivious. Those are things I’m definitely looking to improve since it can affect what I do on a daily basis.
# 6 – How Can You Come to Terms with Your Past, Present, and Future?
Sometimes we don’t know how our past is affecting our present and future. We deny it, are angry at it, push it away, until eventually we are so blind to it that we lash out at others, and we don’t know why. Figuring out what affects you from your past to know how it affects you now is imperative to finding out who you are as a person.
I had a difficult childhood. My father valued objects more than people. He was explosive and took it out on our family and mother. My mother was constantly depressed and slept all the time. If you saw her, she would be asleep. This caused me to have a sensitive sense of self-worth, and it’s taken me many years to repair the damage that was caused. My father has now passed, and my mother is alive, but we have a difficult relationship due to a family member who lives with her and is a bit controlling.
Coming to terms with your past allows you to heal from any wounds, and allows you to choose to change your behavior when dealing with others going forward.
# 7 – What Are Your Values?
Listing out your values can help you to get to know yourself better as a person. To access a list of values, look here. Values are traits that we would like to believe we embody within ourselves. Often times, though, what we feel are our values are actually our ideal values – those values we would like to have as a person.
Look at your behavior. What does your behavior suggest that you value? How do you treat other people? What gets you up in the morning, leading your actions?
My own values are courage, persistence, amusement, vision, and passion. These are some of the values that I feel get me up in the morning, leading my actions and affecting how I behave with others every day.
# 8 – How Would You Like Others to Treat You?
This is an interesting question to ask because it allows us to assess our standards on how we want other people to treat us. Even though people throw around the golden rule, not everyone likes to be treated the same way. Some people want others to communicate with them bluntly while others like a little bit of cushion to go with that dose of honesty. So, how would you like others to treat you?
I like others to be very honest with me. I like them to give their full attention to me when I’m talking to them. I like when they are kind and understanding with me. I like when they encourage me rather than tear me down. This is how I want others to treat me.
# 9 – What Are You Passionate About?
In order to get to know who you are, you need to find out what you’re passionate about. What gets you up and excited for the day? What are you so interested in that you can maintain your focus for a really long time just to work toward it or get it done?
My own is my writing and my job. Those are two things that I will be up and ready for with excitement. It makes me feel better to succeed at these two things.
# 10 – What Are Your Good Habits and Bad Habits?
Knowing our good habits and bad habits allows us to interact with ourselves and others in the most ideal way possible. If we identify what our good and bad habits are, we can work toward using the good habits more and the bad habits less. Reducing bad habits can lead us to a better sense of health and calm, and will allow others to be more relaxed around us.
A couple of my good habits are me being persistent with my writing and making sure my responsibilities are taken care of. A couple of my bad habits are not eating as well as I should at times and not exercising as much as I should be. I chase around a three year old and take walks at times, but I should be going to the gym now since it’s winter, though my preference would be to run outside.
These are all questions you can ask yourself to get to know who you are a little better.
What about you? Who are you as a person?
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